February 11.....continues....

It is raining all day. Soon I can look at a sea of mud and dead grass instead of snow. A small improvement!

They are still trying to treat me like a simple patient. Got to Dr Edge's Nurse practitioner and got the same story about the way things are done, and why I should be patient with all this. Surgery not scheduled until after the biopsy, Blah Blah Blah,! After I walked her through the history, I think she may have got some of it, but quoted a low risk of radial scar being cancer, which I corrected her on from two studies, that showed 16% and 30%. Not my kind of odds, even if I was a gambler. Then, tried to convince me that my cancer isn't likely changing much while all this waiting goes on.

The way I see it, I am skating close to the line on needing chemo or not needing chemo, and I don't like those odds being F****** with. Go ahead and tell me how long it takes a given cancer to grow from .6cm to 1.0 cm, when it may have changed from .6 to .8 in three weeks. (May or may not be camera angle) Maybe I'm not supposed to read these things they give me and really think about them????

P.S. I think a new summer hat is a good idea. Looks like I am going to really need one or two, too. Couldn't resist Two, Too.

Might be time to turn in to my alter ego that my kids would recognize: "Attila, the MOM" (their name for me when their efforts at getting justice, were not satisfied, and the heavy was needed.) I don't like being held hostage, I want a DATE!!!!

Dr Edge is to call tonight or tomorrow. He promised me a date soon after the biopsy, even if he had to do it on his day off. I don't intend to wait until I am told on the 19 when I get the results that he is out of town for college visits with his daughter. I already know he is going to be out of town on Feb 19, as that is when my post-op visit was originally scheduled back when I was having surgery today.

What am I to do with these feelings? To quote my niece Jennifer, many years ago. "Lets go out in the Woods and Kill Something". She was about 8 or 10 I think. Poor Ron, He doesn't know what to do with me, because he's upset too!